If you’re angling for a more serious conversation with another person, try to pick the right time to do it. Make sure that you’re both not doing anything important. It is also much better when they are doing something casual because it keeps the atmosphere more relaxed and non-threatening. Problems are a part of life, and if you feel the need to address the issue with someone else, don’t start the kind of talk that reeks of doom and failure. Instead of telling them not to freak out, you can be calm and light about introducing a certain issue. By being generally pessimistic, you end up stressing him out all the more. You set off warning bells in his brain. The reason it’s so hard to just dive right in and say what’s on your mind is that you would rather prepare for a problem, to warm up rather than abruptly tackle it. Even with issues that aren’t major, the other would hear it as a signal to gear up and be defensive. Thus, you make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. When hearing a disclaimer, he prepares to fight you. Instead of jump-starting his heart attack with statements that sound forbidding, try a gentler approach. You’ll get a more positive feedback this way.

It’s also definitely frustrating when you’re talking to someone else and halfway through, his eyes glaze over and you know he’s hit his mental mute button. It’s not that he really doesn’t care, he does if he’s your friend at all, it’s just what you may consider a standard-issue story comes across as a verbal tornado. Simply put, he may not be equipped to take in all the minor details just yet. People with short attention spans have a three-minute window of what they can listen to closely. Anything longer than that and you’ve lost him. Then, you inevitable get frustrated instead of combating this problem like an adult. You may have to understand that some people can only listen for so long. Try to catch yourself if you start rambling, and throw in a question to get him involved. It is easy for the other person to zone out if he’s just listening, but as you work at engaging him, he’s forced to be present. If you’re close enough, try a casual touch as well, this brings him back to the moment.

Honesty’s a great thing in general, but it can also be overrated at certain times. There’s such a thing as reckless honesty when you’re revealing stuff that doesn’t have a constructive purpose and will do more harm than good. Not all annoyances have to be addressed and dissected. Sometimes, bringing up an inconsequential subject will only serve to insult and offend the other person. Sometimes, you just have to deal with things by yourself. There’s a fine line between being tactless and being too honest. Go by the rule of thumb when this happens to you: if you don’t have anything nice to say, then you might as well not say anything.